Head or Tails?

Why, oh why does this country's weather play such cruel tricks on me? Not to complain or anything but it seems like everytime I decided to go for a ride the weather spontaneously changes half-way through it. Ok, ok...sometimes it changes for the better and I think I'm just a bit pissy because my ride didn't go so well today, but MAN I have never seen weather change so sporadically in my life. Funny though that I'm starting to learn that there is typically a 99% chance that the weather will change at least once a day. Starts off rainy, turns to sun; starts off sunny, turns to cold. I think I just need to learn the actual patterns a bit better so I can schedule my life around them!

But yeah, the ride didn't go as well as planned today...and there is no room for excuses; I just wasn't performing well. And I hate to say it, but it was nice to find that a spoke came loose 2.5 hours in so I could throw in the towel a half hour early and wheel myself home with my tail between my legs. Yeah I know it's lame, but I was hurting...bad. I was "knackered" as they say here in Kiwi-land (and when they say it, it sounds like "naked". Honest to God the first three months I could not figure out why everyone was always running around naked until I finally asked about it.) But really, it was painful. It was the sort of pain where I was begging to hit "the wall" because, well, when I hit the wall, I usually go through it and get a second wind. That or everything goes numb and I don't feel anything anymore. But nope. No wall. No numbness. Just a lot of sweat, a lot of cursing, a lot of questioning my potential. And it didn't help that it got mighty cold up in the hills today (note to self: buy arm warmers). It was pretty neat (yes, NEAT) to see the mist-filled clouds billowing up over the hillside pushed along by the force of the wind. It was even neater (YES, NEATER) when said wind billowed into ME and then threw the misty cloud in my FACE causing my glasses to go hazy with water. I also love it when you have to pedal to go downhill. THE BEST!

So why heads or tails? Well, it's a play on words of course! Silly people. See today I experienced what is known as a headwind...the most wretched and evil thing that I have found exists in the cycling world and if I could physically KILL a headwind, I would. I have experienced headwinds so strong that they nearly knock me off my bike or push me into traffic. In fact, yesterday, I saw and man and his little girl riding into a headwind and he actually had his hand on her seat, pushing her along so she could still ride her damn bike. Yeah, that's the kind of wind we're talking about. It makes you feel pathetic, inconsequential and like a total failure as an athlete. To pedal along on the flats in gears that you typically climb UPHILL in. And personally, I get very, very angry. And I don't much like feeling that way. So I'm trying hard to start taking deep breaths and relaxing and reminding myself that this is all part of the sport. It's not like swimming where the most uncontrolable thing in the competition is the temperature of the water...no there are sooo many uncontrolables in this sport. And I have to get used to it. If I don't, I know I'll just get too frustrated to want to do this anymore.

What is the upside to all this wind non-sense? Well you must have guessed that the tailwind is quite the antithesis to the aforementioned demon. If the headwind was a supervillain, the tailwind would be the superhero. Sending cyclists along at such a rapid pace as to suggest flight. And it feels wonderful...but for some reason, I feel as though I run into the supervillain a LOT more than our hero. Oh well, it's still nice when it's there...and it actually helps one appreciate the headwind with the knowledge that you (and if not you, some other poor cyclin' fool) will have the wind at their back eventually during the day.

So that's about the long and the short of the winds around here. I definitely don't plan on giving up on this whole pursuit anytime soon even though I threw my first mini-tantrum in probably 7 or 8 years (I only slightly tossed my helmet across my bedroom. And no, I didn't use all my strength, so it doesn't count as a full-on tantrum). I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day...and it wasn't done in two weeks either. I just need to keep reminding myself of that. This isn't going to happen overnight and there will be ups and downs. "Don't get too high on the high or too low on the lows" someone once said to me--I try to remember that each time that I feel a bit pissy about things not going my way. Because for every bad day there may be two or even three good days. And for every blustery, miserable, debilitating day of hell, there may be at least one day of calm serenity waiting to whisk me along the hilltops.

-NMK