A Training Trip

First of all, let's go over Christmas. I hope everyone's back home was very merry. Mine was better than anticipated, though it still didn't feel at all like the holidays. Instead of going to a bbq with Craig we ended up going riding for a few hours and then out to dinner. He took me to this lovely little Italian place...I think it's the first time I've been out to dinner since being in Christchurch. Afterwards we took a walk out onto the New Brighton Pier. Apparently this pier was built in response to Auckland's Sky Tower. I guess Christchurch needed something to brag about in return. It's funny to think of the things that humans do, like building really high buildings just for the sake of it or constructing massive piers that extend out into the ocean for no reason whatsoever. I mean, it's not like any boats or anything docked near or on this thing. Oh well, I've come to accept that humans are strange beings and we will forever be doing stupid and magnificent things all at once.

It was a nice Christmas Eve followed by a very nice Christmas day as well. We slept in, quite late in fact and woke to a dreary, drizzly day (how about THAT alliteration). Craig took me tramping up into the port hills, which proved to be a fabulous experience. The beginning of the hike was pretty thick as we were descending the hill through overgrown forest and dried up stream beds. Since it was raining it was a tad slippery but a nice challenge to try and maneuver. After a couple of hours (and some off-track tramping) we found our way to the top of the hill in which you could see the city of Christchurch on one side and the bay and ocean near Littleton on the other. Despite the weather it was a gorgeous site and a lovely way to spend Christmas morning.

After coming home and showering (with extreme desire to rid my legs of the nasty grass-rash I had aquired from milling about in the high bushes) I then went to my friend Victoria's for dinner. Since the rain had subsided, it was strange to feel the heat of the sun against my bare shoulders on Christmas Day. We stuffed ourselves silly and chatted the evening away. I met Victoria at the pool where I was coaching and have found a very good friend in her. Even though it wasn't home, thanks to her and her family, it definitely felt more like Christmas than I thought it would.

So that was my Christmas. Here in New Zealand however, Boxing Day is fully celebrated with most places (aside from retailers of course) still being closed. Although I did not spend the day shopping, I certainly did something of note. Since I've decided to work towards some sort of success at cycling, Craig has written me up a training program. Well, yesterday was day number 1 of the brutality that will be this next two weeks. It's funny, it feels much like our old training trips since I have nothing to do but train until Jan 9 (my job revolves around the school term and the kiddies are on break right now). So basically, on my first day of serious training we did what is called "Long Bays". It's about 80k from what I understand and is composed mainly of hills...and by hills I mean mountains (they laugh here in NZ when I call the Port Hills mountains but seriously, when I thought the hills in Bing were bad, I was being a baby.). So yeah, three and a bit hours later we are home, my ass is sore, my hands feel bruised, I am starving, my legs are astonished that I'm already talking about what the next day's ride will consist of, and I end up sleeping the night away much like the nights I spent in Coral Springs, Kona and the like. Just before bed I notice that I am sporting the classic cylcist's tan...or burn in this case. Red from the middle of the bicep down to the watchline and red from the middle of my thigh down to my ankle with a nice sharp line where my socks had been. With pride I flop into bed, desperate for sleep, my muscles aching for relief. Tomorrow is another day.

And today was rather generous. We rode the flats today for only 1.5 hours and despite a bit of a headwind going out, we found the breeze at our backs and a decent ride home. So here I sit now, somewhat tired, but I feel wonderful. It is happening again for me--I have found a new passion and I have thrown myself headfirst into this committment. I have no idea where this will take me, what I will be able to achieve or if any of the dillusions of grandure may actually not be dillusions at all, but I do know that I am a woman of sport, that breaking my body down into a million tiny pieces only to build myself up again to perform is what I love. I'm simply grateful to have found a place and a person to help me work towards my goals...and enjoy the ride so very much along the way.

-Nic

PS a few hours later and I'm not quite done writing. I've had some things on my mind lately, and it's time I let them out into the open. As I sit here, in this cozy little NZ home, I can't stop myself from thinking "where have I brought myself in life?" This isn't a negative thought, so do not get the wrong impression. I have recently been amazed at where I have put myself in this world. I am essentially making a life for myself, many miles from home. I am working hard to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, and all that cliched blahdy blah about living on one's own, while at the same time trying to enjoy this experience. It is bizarre to think that I have done this half way around the world from all that I once knew, and now that it is done, what do I really have to come home to? Ok, that's not fair, but let's examine logically.

Of course I've got my family and my friends, the most important part of my life, but after that I've got what, an anthropology degree?? Sure, it was fun and I have grown a lot through obtaining it, but I know I need to return to school if I want to secure myself any sort of decent job (by my standards at least) and I'm just not ready to do that yet (especially because I don't know what I want to do for certain). I have so much I want to do that doesn't include returning to school just yet. So what else awaits me back home? I've no job, once May roles around this year, work at the park will be a thing of the past. And that is ok with me...I'm ready to move on from that. If one cannot let go of the past, one cannot extend themselves to the future. And even though I do have my friends back home, we have spread ourselves out...some in the city, some on the West Coast, some only an hour away, but an hour is much longer than a drive to Asbury Ave.

So what does any of this have to do with anything? Well, I was visiting with Brett yesterday, kind of a post-Xmas chat, and it was then that I understood the work involved with creating a life for oneself away from one's home. And it hit me...when I return to the states, I will have to go through this whole process once again. It is three months to the day that I arrived in this country and I am just finding my footings, finally happy, finally having discovered a niche. Although three months, in the grand scheme of life, is but a blip of time, it was still a painfully awkward three months that I don't wish to live again any time soon. The only way of avoiding it would have been to returm home this May, live with the rentals and work at CVSP again...but like I said, by clinging to the past, we ignore our future's potential.

So what is my solution to all this internal reflection on my external world? Enjoy the now (as I have said many times before) and look fondly, not obsessively towards the future. Yes, I miss and always will cherish the times spent at home, at Hamilton (it is often sureal to realize over and over again that I have done the whole "college thing". it is slightly offputting, as well, to come to my senses and know that it is over.) and all other periods of my youth, but instead of grasping desperately to hold onto those times I have begun to see prospects of the future. Countries I've yet to see, things I'm meant to do, people I'm on track to meet and befriend. It's enough to make one throw up his or her arms and laugh "what a life this is!!!" We shall see where things take me...but as of right now, I'm a bit stuck on this New Zealand life.