From the Heart

Funny how some songs can just make you think...maybe too much some of the time. Well, here in lovely New Zealand, especially while riding, I have plenty of time to think. And I THINK it needs to stop. Because my thoughts usually get me into messes. Those of you who have ever heard me go through my though processes know exactly what I'm talking about. As of late there are a lot of things cropping up from my past, not necessarily haunting me, but just lingering there, preventing me from moving forward.

Because here I am, in a different county, in a different mindset, right? It's not like I'm still in high school, or college, or back home working the beach. The people are different, the streets are still unfamiliar, my aspirations have become unclear. And even though I've found friends and comfort here in this new and intriguing place, all I want to do is run to the familiar and beg for an hour to talk, a minute to laugh, even a second to...

How does one put into words everything one isn't supposed to say? How does one let go of everything one never wanted to leave? How does one let one's world just slip away into the mist of the past, leaving nothing but a void?

Well I don't know how to do any of that. Because I still think about pirates and the chair in my living room and the orchard beneath the stars. I remember the morning butterfly sets, eggs with too much salt and too many bottles of cheap wine late into the night. Wretched movies like "Saw", beautiful songs like "Red," and everything in between.

I know it'd be so much easier to just let it all go and start anew, but for me, life just isn't so black and white. Never was, never will be.

-Coco