This Life of Mine

"It's about you. What you value, where you want to be and if the things you are doing right now are getting you there."

Wise words spoken by one of the smartest and most inspiring men I have ever met. My boss, Brent, has already taught me so many things that I've been hoping to learn. Things they don't teach you in school.

This journey, in part, has been to celebrate the completion of my undergrad education...it has also been a time for self-realization. A time to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. For those of you who know me really well, you'll be able to testify how intensely I concern myself with my future, yet how bad I am at making huge decisions. I constantly second guess myself and worry that the decisions I make will be mistakes. I am always focused on the far future, so much that I don't even allow myself to enjoy the present.

After speaking with Brent, today was different. I didn't think about what I want to do for a living. I didn't worry about when I want to come home from NZ. I forgot about money and expensive items and materialism.

For the first time in five years I sat and enjoyed an entire Friday.

In short I am currently asking myself what I value, what I love, what I want from this life of mine. Though I can't yet answer questions like "where do you want to be in two years?" or "is what you're doing right now helping you to get there?" I am able to understand the simplicity that the answers to those questions will grant me. Life is meant to be lived, not bought and displayed around one's house...not driven with the loudest bass...not viewed on the biggest television screen.

Today was a whole new day for me. I felt light-hearted, excited to run and play; to learn cricket and teach some kiwi children baseball; to make dinner and even do the dishes afterwards. And tomorrow will be even better. The plan? Get up, go play, and soak up every single drop that my Saturday has to offer. We have a limited number of Saturday, November 5th's in our lives and I plan on celebrating the 2005 edition with great enthusiasm. An enthusiasm I have denied myself for quite some time now.

-NMK