"Wretched"

The word of the day.
Used in a sentence: "Goodbyes are wretched."

I am sick of this. I am sick of saying goodbye to people. I am sick of meeting fantastic new people who I yearn to know more about and then !POOF! I have to leave. Right. It happened in my last years of high school, it happened in college and it's happening again. What good is it to be outgoing and interested in knowing people? What sort of satisfaction is there in meeting someone new and amazing with the knowledge that in just a few short years or months or weeks they will no longer be a staple of one's social agenda, but merely "faraway@etc.com". I am tired of my friends being just screen names and email addresses. I have, as luck would have it, met so many new and fantastic people this summer and I've already had to say goodbye to the majority of them. I love meeting people, I love getting to really know people, but this is just frustrating the hell out of me.

I suppose this isn't the best mindset with which to enter my adventure, and I know that I will be back to my old self the minute I step off that plane in Auckland...I guess I just want it all--an adventure and my friends. I am fighting a losing battle here; I should be grateful for the technology that we have, grateful for the opportunity that lies before me. It is not my time to settle, like most of my friends, so it is no mystery that we are all off on our own adventures. Someday we will all be able to come together and share these adventures. Like my Hilary said "we are all going to come back bigger and better people from when we left." I know that she is right but that doesn't make it any easier tonight.

::Sigh:: That is my ranting for this evening. There have been positive parts of my day...I've found a duffel to put my pack in, I've been enlightened on how to pack my bike, I've got most of my stuff together in a pile upstairs waiting to be packed. Amazing how small of a pile it really is. But I really don't have anything left to do!

I've no more to say tonight. All I can say to those I knew and know and want to know is please keep in touch, for my heart quickly attaches itself to those that I love.

-NMK