Nicole's Tour

A compilation of the experiences that the upcoming year holds for me. Add a pinch of sarcasm and a dash of poetic spirit...and hopefully all will turn out alright.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

What Dreams May Come

Sometimes when I wake up I think I'm at home on Brotzman road. Other times I rise expecting to see the waffled ceilings of the dark side dorms. Today I woke in a daze, wondering where the hell I was, what year I was in, and when I had to leave for swim practice. As my eyes adjusted to the light I sank back onto my pillow in a somewhat disappointed mood. Could it be that my subconscious was trying to remind me how much that sport once meant to me? Strange. The dream brought together everything from my college swim coach to my high school training buddy along with a pool that my mind had constructed out of pieces from every important aquatic center I have been to. And in the dream, I was standing next to these two people and we were discussing our last season. It wasn't the last season at Hamilton or Chenango Forks. But I remember feeling a sense of ambition. Something inside my head that told me "this is it, make it count." It kind of shattered me when I woke up and realized, "nope, your last year was over, soooo you missed your chance." Because in the reality, did I really make it count? Was my heart as into it as it should have been? As into it as it had been in that dream...as I clearly wished it had been.

But there's no point in dwelling on the past. So what do I do? I could start swimming again, but despite my little experience last night, I don't think that's the route I should be headed. So back to this new thing I've been trying...this bike riding thing. Which I enjoy. Immensely. I love riding hills and training in a bunch (pretty much the only time I can stand the flats.) But do I love it enough to try and race? Am I just scared? One may ask, "what's there to be scared of??" Let me start a list:
1. Sucking really bad (that's at the top)
2. Crashing (not nearly as big of a worry as #1)
3. Getting dropped (the result of sucking really bad)

I'm sure I can think of other reasons...and maybe it's that I need to try it out before I knock it. I do know that I have been getting better...I stay up longer with the bunch when we do sprints, some of them I'm even at the head of now. It's more about positioning yourself properly and starting the sprint at the right time (something I pretty much still no, ah well...NOTHING about.) But I'm learning right? And that's all that matters. Rome wasn't built in a day, I've said that before. I mean for god's sake, aside from the fact that I've really just became serious (by serious I mean that anything less that two hours doesn't count for shit) about this whole thing, I'm still walking around with something that resembles a swimmer's body. I think. That's what I'm told anyway. And that needs to go.

It's so easy to make excuses. So much easier than getting up early and riding in the cold. Than getting home late and riding in the rain. Than pumping against the wind and lactic acid. I personally enjoy a nice cup of hot cocoa and a good movie over squishy cleats and that lovely little skunk's stripe one gets from cruising around in a rain storm. But, I think that's what it's all about...because how much sweeter will it be when I can be at the front and stay at the front on a hill climb? When I can spring the causeway with that guy from the local cycling club who looks like he rode his bike out of mommy'd womb. When I can climb Dyers Pass five times in a row and say "how 'bout a sixth."

So is this what I want? Or do I want to relax and just have a good time and say "it's ok if you don't feel like getting up at the asscrack of dawn." I really think I changed a lot in college...I grew lazy, despite the massive amounts of traning I had done. Now I'm just trying to get back to where I was before that. So how do you forget all the mornings of sleeping in the lazy weekends lyin in the sun? Maybe I don't need to completely foget them....maybe I need to find a little balance. Ah well, enough comtemplation for the time being. I did a nice long ride today so this promblem doesn't count right now.

Off to hang my laundry.

-Nicole

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Mr. Stupidpants

This one's for you.

So I just talked to one of my favorite people in the whole wide world and boy do I feel better. Not only about just chilling here in NZ for the time being, but about life in general. The things he says just always make such sense--about living and learning, experiences and all that jazz. That's not to say that everything my mother and father tell me or my best friend Sarah says just goes in one ear and out the other, but you know, it's worth a note in my blog. Thanks Justin.

I went on my second bunch ride today and met some more cool people. I also got my ass handed to me on a silver platter as some of the guys in the bunch thought it would be cool to speed up when they reached the front. But no worries, the old veteran riders put them in their place and I was able to keep up for the remainder of the ride, even, dare I say, dominate alongside a fellow female rider as we left a couple of men for dead on the causeway (not my intention but that's what happens when you're heading into a headwind i guess.)

I'm getting more and more excited about my dad and karen coming to visit. Not only will I be able to see some of the south island with them, but i'll get to, well, see them!! and it'll be great to see someone from home. i think this whole phonecard thing may be a good idea. i've been calling people, every now and again, and even though i can't be there with my friends, i definitely know that i am thought about and still very much loved...always a nice feeling.

Craig has been busy with his bike business and I've been busy with my swim stuff. I think it's just precious how we both have our little sports niches. For those of you who don't know, Craig makes custom bike frames. That's right, welds them together and everything and he's damn good at it. I can't even explain how much like a kid in a candy shop he is when he gets new tools to make his bikes. It's adorable. And I know he'll be so happy that there is an entire passage in here about him and his business...but I just want everyone to know how proud of him I am. Annnnd once he has a website up and running I will definitely be putting that in here for all you biking enthusiasts who may want a sweet custom made frame by a damn good builder. :-)

I think that is all for today. I'm going to sit back and relax for a bit. Nurse the legs (and other injuries) and watch some cool Winter Olympics. And seriously, how COOL is the speed skating?!?!

-Nicole

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Baby Steps

Upon entering this abroad experience, I never expected to feel so settled. But that, in effect, is what I am right now. Didn't I come to this country to escape that feeling; to allow myself the freedom to explore and question and learn from the environment that surrounds me? This thought has been a constant plague on my mind for the past couple of weeks and only now have I begun to realize just how much I've learned through being settled...not only about myself, but about people and living in a community.

First of all, I have had to remind myself that currently, I don't even have the money to travel. With everything from repair bills to medical bills all the way down to paying something as simple as rent, I really couldn't afford to travel and maintain the athletic lifestyle I am focused on (cycling unfortunately is a bit more costly than swimming was for me.) So it is my choice to stay in one place, own and maintain a half-way decent little bike, and spend my money on items associated with said bicycle. It truly was my intention (at least in the back of my mind it was) to move directly to Christchurch to start my big traning routine. And even though it has been a bit slower going than originally planned, it is still going. So thumbs up for that. But back to the traveling issue. On top of my lacking funds, I have found myself enjoying becoming a part of this community. Although it has been hard going, meeting people with similar interests and ideas, I have been slowly putting myself into situations where such people are easily accessible. For instance, this past Sunday I went on my first bunch ride with about thirty or so people. For those of you who don't know, a bunch ride is when a large group rides together, sometimes in single-file sometimes by two's (like we did on Sunday). Each person rides very close to the wheel in front of them in order to catch a draft and we continually rotate through the line so that everyone has a turn at the front. The ride lasted about three hours (not counting the hour it took me to get out and back from the beginning and end of the ride) and it was a great experience. I met a lot of very nice people who were not only helpful in teaching me how to ride in a bunch, but just pleasant to talk to and get to know. There was one man, however, who had some very unflattering comments to make about my country and my nationality, most of which were sarcastic, childish and just nasty. Nothing respectable to even debate or discuss. But despite that one man's negative attitude, I now look forward to Sunday mornings for something other than just sleeping in!!!

That brings me to a side note, however, about this experience and trying to find a niche. Craig recently brought to my attention something that I think I have forgotten, or at least been somewhat naive about, since I in no way associate myself with the goings-on of the American government. After complaining that very fe Kiwis seem interested in becoming friends with me: "Nicole," he said in the nicest way possible, "people don't like Americans very much right now." I'm not sure if I had been pretending that the war in Iraq wasn't really going on or if I just thought that people would instantaneously know that George W.'s not MY president...but as he reminded me of this very unfortunate fact, my heart sank. I recalled meeting people and when they asked me if I was Canadian, a certain sort of disappointment would spread across their faces when I told them that 'No, in fact I was one of the war-mongering neighbors just South of that fabulous maple-syrup consuming country'. Of course I didn't actually use the term "war-mongering", only "American" but I suppose down here, for many people, they are synonymous. Was it because the people I has been living with the first couple of months actually appreciated our country's 'world police' attitude? Had I simply forgotten, in the midst of ignorance and arrogance how lightly I should be treading across the rest of the world's soil? Well, for whatever reason, I have had to remind myself of the position that the simple of act of being born in Binghamton, NY has put me in. Now, when I meet someone who rolls their eyes at the statement "I'm from NY", I find myself swaying them into political conversation with hopes to open a window of opprotunity to say "hey, wait a sec, i'm a democrat, i don't support the war, blah blah blah." Needless to say that is a cop-out and if I have to do that to get someone to respect, like, or even associate with me, well...I really don't think they're worth my time.

Continuing on with the community...

While I live in the city of Christchurch, I commute four days a week to Lincoln, a little country town about a half hour from where I live. I don't mind the drive and since I'm being paid petrol money, there are perks. I also enjoy being out in the country on the beautiful farm, as I've said many times before. Today, however, I spoke with the mothers of two swimmers and we got onto the topic of community and how, inadvertently, I was becoming a big part of Lincoln's. I suppose when you live outside of the place in which you're working and you don't have a very good idea of it's size, you tend to take for granted just how small it can be. And, since I live in a big city, I suppose that I assume Lincoln is actually a PART of Christchurch. Well, it's not. These woman made me realize that, not only was I teaching many children of the community how to swim and getting to know their mothers in the prcoess, I was also helping many of the women of the community to get fit through my aquacise classes. Some of these women have children or grandchildren in the swim program or teach them at the local school or are close neighbors to their families. And if the cliched notion about small towns is true, as it seems to be in this case, word is spreading like wildfire about this new pool with these new programs for the Lincoln community. And the people are, for the most part, so lovely. They come in, relaxed, ask me how my day has been. When the lesson or class is over they ask about my life, why I'm here, what kind of things I enjoy. It is truly that "laid back" attitude I was told existed here in this place...I only had to remove myself to a country atmosphere to find it.

And not only am I learning a lot about community, but people as well...children specifically, and the way that they learn. It is really a cool thing to watch the process and to see a child's eyes light up when they finally understand a new concept and achieve a long-standing goal. For instance, one of my favorite children at the pool is a boy named Josh. Josh is a real man's man (as manly as you can get for four). And he doesn't like to show that he's afraid of that water. Though I know he is. But I ask him to do something and though I can feel his little hands shake as he grips the kick board, he just says "yep" and does it. Well, today Josh faced the big step of jumping off the stairs completely on his own (well with the aid of a noodle). He knew that for the first time I would not be helping him at all...and I've never seen such a worried expression on such a little face in all my life. It wasn't fear, he wasn't about to cry...he just look so incredibly concerned. Like the bank was about to foreclose on his house or something. And so I count to three, and with all the encouraging words in the world behind him he jumped...and floated, just like I told him he would. And he looks at the noodle and he looks at me with such surprise on his face and yells "I did it!!!" like he half expected to be at the bottom right that moment. This was our second lesson...and the goal had been for Josh to float with a noodle on his own. The week before was to put his head underwater. Next week it will be to float on his back. I'm not even thinking about swimming strokes yet. And the concept that Josh's progress illustrates is something I am learning more each day: patience. Josh will not swim in two weeks. Just like I will not be able to see this world in two months. Or become an integral part of a community in five days. Or make best friends in three weeks. Or decide my career in ten minutes. Life takes time. Time to experience, to falter, to understand and to realize.

So what does all this have to do with being settled? Well, I think I'm kind of happy with it. And I think I'm realizing that my life isn't on hold, "You're living it right now...so go on and live it!" as my mother has said. There is plenty of time to do lots of things. Plenty of time to make a difference. And I need to remember that I am making a big difference, even if it is to a small rural community in New Zealand.

So you see? What I've learned, what I'm teaching, what I'm doing...it's all about baby steps. And how we're really going to be taking them all throughout life.

-NMK

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Hubber Duckie...

you're the one.

Sooo I started my new job today in which I teach swim lessons and aquacise classes. And despite my initial thought of "holy crap what the hell have I gotten myself into???" it turned out to be a pretty good day. A pretty quick day as well. So to make a long story short, I taught some babies, taught some big kids, taught some ladies how to dance around in the water and I still got to go for a bike ride in the middle of the day, still got to have a nice relaxing lunch, still got to read some trashy tabloid magazines (note: will bring own book next time) and I still got to bathe in the sunlight from the bay window of Ruth and Mark's living room. Not too shabby at all.

That's about all the news right now...I will bring more insight and personal reflection to the table later on. Actually, who am I kidding??? I've been doing this swimming non-sense for ages now, there's not much more to friggen reflect.

Oh and Craig made a very good point about my last post. The comment about our house not being too "flash". Well, it in fact is very flash. It's so flash that I have been blinking to try to get my eyesight back since I moved in. There. Happy darling?

-Nicole

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Sleeping Beauty



Isn't he just precious? Yes, I think so. And he'll just be so embarassed when he sees his picture up here. hehe.

So yesterday was my last day working for Outaskool, the childcare center. I know that I'm really going to miss those kids, and just having a nice time with everyone else that worked there. We went out to celebrate last night, mainly the end of the holidays, and I got pretty pissed. It has been a while since I've had a lot to drink, let alone a lot of wine to drink, but a few glasses of water and some advil before bed assured me that I would not be hung over this morning. And I wasn't. It's a lovely day and I'm planning on relaxing for most of it. A little housework here and maybe a nice easy ride later (preferably with Craig). My illness is getting better thanks to the delicious drugs that my doctor has given me and I'm thankful that I will be able to function like a normal human being again.

I start my job with the swim school and aquacise classes on tuesday. yay for four day work weeks. I think the only part that may be tough about this job is that I won't be working with coworkers. Rather, I'll be working alone (with kids though), but I won't have much interaction with anyone else during the days. Ah well, money is money for now.

Lots of ideas for the future, planning the road trip for when Daddy and Karen come, looking into getting involved in some groups or film clubs when the cinema stuff starts up again in Winter. Just kind of chilling out. Here are some pics of the house where I live and my sweet little $300 Honda Civic. LOVE IT. Enjoy!







That's everything. It's not a real flash place, but it's home and it's cozy and it's really fun to live there. Yay.

-Nicole